I remember a time when we used to spend time on the phone actually having a genuine conversation, a time when my dad used to shout at me for being on too long, a time when he shouted because he wanted to use the internet at the same time, a time when I'd rather chat on the phone that study for exams, and my mum used to scream at me for not doing my coursework. I have fond memories of chatting back in my school days, about anything and everything, proper uncensored conversations.
I couldn't tell you exactly what all I talked about back then, but that's not what's important, it is where I cemented some of my most important friendships, friendships that have lasted over 20 years, yes 20 years! This is back when a friend actually meant a friend, not someone who you met once, or someone who know's someone who knows someone who knows your bother.
On Facebook it's likely that there is someone on your friends list that you went to school with that you weren't particular fond of, and in fact if they walked past you today you'd possibly avoid them! Oh how extremely superficial, why has it become so hard to hit the decline button. People clearly put status updates on for a reaction, and you wait for a response, you get a buzz from a comment, that little red alert makes you feel worthwhile. I could be talking out of turn here, perhaps it's easy for you to hit decline, and keep your friend list to actual friends, but I know I'm guilty of letting a few slip through the net! In fact I'm probably guilty of all of the above complaints. I'm not up on my high horse preaching that I do the opposite of what irritates me about Facebook. I am merely bringing to light just how sucked into something we can easily become whether we like it or not, just to become part of the modern world.
If I had to pick one Social Network creation to stick with it would probably be Twitter, even through at first I resisted and couldn't quite understand it's appeal. To me it feels much more spontaneous, honest and observant. By observant I mean, when I see something and hear conversations that are particular interesting I love to Tweet about it, it's fast and you can spark quick fire conversations with a whole host of different people. It's a place where people come together from all walks of life to share interests, hobbies and experiences. To me Twitter seems to be more of an honest place, and I don't particularly care who is following me. It is also a great marketing tool, I have been to a number of restaurants which were great due to their presence on Twitter. I have gained a lot of photography followers and people who were involved in Marathon Training.
Life moves along so so quickly and it is very easy to get sucked into the latest sensation, but isn't it about time we thought about what we were actually doing a little more, why we are doing it, and why do we need to constantly seek approval for our actions.
Bit of a dramatic end there, take from it what you will...
Karen
Ps If all your Facebook status updates are negative, I may delete you, they depress me!
Great post. You're being rather prolific today. :)
ReplyDeleteYou make a great point about your social network connections not reflecting your actual social circle. I think part of what offends me about Facebook is its co-opting of the word 'friend' to denote something with a fraction of its importance or weight. I understand why they used this term; their entire model is built on people connecting to each other, everyone wants to have friends, and it implies a level of peer acceptance and personal connection that otherwise simply isn't there.
Had they used 'Contacts' as a term, the seemingly magnetic pull of a 'friend request' would be absent, but the connection itself wouldn't seem so fraudulent, nor would we be so loathe to decline it for fear of seeming rude and/or unpopular. It would also make a lot more sense for someone to have 300+ 'contacts'; people I see on the service who seem to collect new 'friends' like Pokemon come across as desperate to prove their popularity, to me at least. Though I wonder if my disdain for this sort of behaviour isn't some form of e-penis measuring; after all, a number means absolutely nothing until someone else's number is bigger. :)
Nostalgia for a 'simpler' time, where you actually had to know and like (small 'l') your friends, is something you'll find more and more people expressing. Facebook and its ilk, as you pointed out with Twitter, are excellent business networking/riot-organizing tools, but those status-seekers who seem to live or die by their friend count would do well to ask themselves, honestly, how many friends (small 'f') they really, actually have, how many they really know, and - most tellingly of all - how many of those 'friends' really know them at all.
I'm sorry, I appear to have commented on your blog post with another blog post. Sorry for ranting, I have very strong opinions on the subject, and hope to hear more discussion about it here from people much more eloquent (and less verbose) than I.
Awesome post again miss. MOAR!
Neil x
I have to admit, these days I hate the phone. I'm a face to face talker.
ReplyDeleteHowever, like yourself I did spend a lot of time on the phone growing up. Heck, when mobile phones became the norm, I thought life would never be the same. I was right, but that's not the point! My phone became my lifeline. It was the main way I kept a social life alive! It was the way I started relationships, ended relationships, but was never where I maintained a relationship. As I said, I like the face to face chats.
The problem, I find, with that is that these days most people don't!
People have lost their ability to have conversations, they shy away from that kind of connection, but I don't think Facebook can be blamed for that. It can be held accountable for the perpetuation of the short sentence conversations that persist online. Our culture has simply changed. Technology is pushing forward. And people feel like mini celebrities on their profile. As you pointed out, they live for the red notification, and they self promote to get those red dots!
In school, I find that Young People are quick to use BBM or Facebook chat to discuss things, more than they would use the phone. In fact, very few of them have home phones! When we try to contact parents, it is always a mobile number that is answered. Home phone numbers just ring out. Texting is even becoming a thing of the past!
Do I self promote? Yes, of course. We all do. It's human nature to look for attention. I want to be validated. I need to feel important sometimes, but I don't really need Facebook to be validated. I have friends for that. I have family for that. However, those friends and family are now spread across the world, and the internet is cheaper than a phone, and increasingly more mobile, so life goes more and more online.
I'll not start about Twitter (we could be here for a while!), which like you, I enjoy, however, I wish I could delete my Facebook profile. Unfortunately I've too many folks on there that claim it's the only way they can keep up to date with me, but one day… Mark my words!
Thanks for posting guys, great to read your thoughts.
ReplyDeletePaul I remember it was you that first introduced me to Twitter, and I tried so hard to resist!